Great work reflecting on the character’s thoughts and feelings. Be careful not to forget you commas and do not mix your tenses. If you start in the past you must finish in the past.
For example this is a run-on sentence and you mixed the tenses:
On the other hand if he practised in an enclosed space like a house or a shopping mall he can hurt himself and other people.
Corrected- On the other hand, if he practiced in an enclosed space like a house or a shopping mall, he COULD hurt himself or other people.
Keep up the good work!
Ms. Dawson
Ps. Please sign your first name on your posts 🙂
Great work reflecting on the character’s thoughts and feelings. Be careful not to forget you commas and do not mix your tenses. If you start in the past you must finish in the past.
For example this is a run-on sentence and you mixed the tenses:
On the other hand if he practised in an enclosed space like a house or a shopping mall he can hurt himself and other people.
Corrected- On the other hand, if he practiced in an enclosed space like a house or a shopping mall, he COULD hurt himself or other people.
Keep up the good work!
Ms. Dawson
Ps. Please sign your first name on your posts 🙂