Well done Jahmai, let me help you with some punctuation. For example your first sentence:
‘A large Lion nested on top of a classic VW camper van, with a radiant looking Bird settled on a porch viewing the scene; The driver was, a doubtfully tall Giraffe poking it’s head through the windscreen followed by a furry bear in the back, opened the door to come off at his stop’
You have used really good vocab but the punctuation is placed incorrectly. I would have put a full stop at the end of scene rather than a semi colon. Also, this sentence: The driver was, a doubtfully tall Giraffe poking it’s head through the windscreen followed by a furry bear in the back, opened the door to come off at his stop’
You have used an embedded clause (a doubtfully tall Giraffe poking it’s head through the windscreen followed by a furry bear in the back) remember, an embedded clause is extra information and the sentence should make sense when you take it away, lets see if yours make sense when you take it away: The driver was opened the door to come off at his stop.
It doesn’t quite work. Instead I would include a relative clause (same as an embedded clause but starts with a relative pronoun.
E.g.
The driver, who was a doubtfully tall giraffe poking his head through the windscreen, opened the door to get off at this stop, he was followed by a furry bear.
If you get rid of the relative clause the sentence still makes sense: The driver opened the door to get off at his stop, he was followed by a furry bear.
Well done Jahmai, let me help you with some punctuation. For example your first sentence:
‘A large Lion nested on top of a classic VW camper van, with a radiant looking Bird settled on a porch viewing the scene; The driver was, a doubtfully tall Giraffe poking it’s head through the windscreen followed by a furry bear in the back, opened the door to come off at his stop’
You have used really good vocab but the punctuation is placed incorrectly. I would have put a full stop at the end of scene rather than a semi colon. Also, this sentence: The driver was, a doubtfully tall Giraffe poking it’s head through the windscreen followed by a furry bear in the back, opened the door to come off at his stop’
You have used an embedded clause (a doubtfully tall Giraffe poking it’s head through the windscreen followed by a furry bear in the back) remember, an embedded clause is extra information and the sentence should make sense when you take it away, lets see if yours make sense when you take it away: The driver was opened the door to come off at his stop.
It doesn’t quite work. Instead I would include a relative clause (same as an embedded clause but starts with a relative pronoun.
E.g.
The driver, who was a doubtfully tall giraffe poking his head through the windscreen, opened the door to get off at this stop, he was followed by a furry bear.
If you get rid of the relative clause the sentence still makes sense: The driver opened the door to get off at his stop, he was followed by a furry bear.