Well done Finn, just remember to always write in the past tense as you are re-telling a story that has already happened.
E.g. You wrote:
Zoya wondered how can she look after these dragons because at some point she will have to go back to her family but she can’t bring the dragons into her house so she needs to smuggle them in the house so her family won’t see the dragons.
I would change it to: Zoya wondered how she WOULD look after these dragons because at some point she WOULD NEED go back to her family, but IT WASN’T THAT SIMPLE she WASN’T ABLE TO bring the dragons into her house, so she NEEDED to smuggle them in TO ENSURE HER FAMILY WOULD NOT SEE THE DRAGONS.
Well done Finn, just remember to always write in the past tense as you are re-telling a story that has already happened.
E.g. You wrote:
Zoya wondered how can she look after these dragons because at some point she will have to go back to her family but she can’t bring the dragons into her house so she needs to smuggle them in the house so her family won’t see the dragons.
I would change it to: Zoya wondered how she WOULD look after these dragons because at some point she WOULD NEED go back to her family, but IT WASN’T THAT SIMPLE she WASN’T ABLE TO bring the dragons into her house, so she NEEDED to smuggle them in TO ENSURE HER FAMILY WOULD NOT SEE THE DRAGONS.