Wow! What a poem, what a sentiment! I have given you a suggestion of how it could be presented below. Lovely to see you writing Zaheer, looking forward to more of your creations.
As I wonder,
Inside my head
A pencil lead, falls from my bed.
Dreams of ‘becoming’ in the NBA
I have to say I don’t feel sweaty (consider revising this line, eg. “I have to say, it feels ok”
Nicely.
But when I tell people
That fantasy will come true
They think that I must be
Hallucinating with hunger
Hunger.
Oh, as if I’m not
The type of person who is greedy.
Ok, maybe I am.
But don’t give up
On what you dream.
Wow! What a poem, what a sentiment! I have given you a suggestion of how it could be presented below. Lovely to see you writing Zaheer, looking forward to more of your creations.
As I wonder,
Inside my head
A pencil lead, falls from my bed.
Dreams of ‘becoming’ in the NBA
I have to say I don’t feel sweaty (consider revising this line, eg. “I have to say, it feels ok”
Nicely.
But when I tell people
That fantasy will come true
They think that I must be
Hallucinating with hunger
Hunger.
Oh, as if I’m not
The type of person who is greedy.
Ok, maybe I am.
But don’t give up
On what you dream.
It seems to be
That all of us can dream.
ZJ
Great Poem Zaheer!
You really have hoop dreams! 🙂