Be sure not to repeat actions in your writing. For example, in your first paragraph you wrote, ‘ At around 5:30AM i woke up. I was coled and tired from the winter night. I shot up, as i knew there was no time to spare, and collected all the belongings i would need for the whole day,’
Shot up and woke up describes the same action. Therefore it would probably be best to word it like this:
At around 5:30am I shot up. I was cold and tired from the winter night, but as I knew there was no time to spare I quickly collected all the belongings I would need for the whole day.
In response to ‘ FOR MISS DAWSON’
AWWW Sophie I am missing you and your classmates terribly! However I hope you are enjoying your experience in online learning, and that you and your family are also happy and healthy :).
This is great work!
Be sure not to repeat actions in your writing. For example, in your first paragraph you wrote, ‘ At around 5:30AM i woke up. I was coled and tired from the winter night. I shot up, as i knew there was no time to spare, and collected all the belongings i would need for the whole day,’
Shot up and woke up describes the same action. Therefore it would probably be best to word it like this:
At around 5:30am I shot up. I was cold and tired from the winter night, but as I knew there was no time to spare I quickly collected all the belongings I would need for the whole day.
In response to ‘ FOR MISS DAWSON’
AWWW Sophie I am missing you and your classmates terribly! However I hope you are enjoying your experience in online learning, and that you and your family are also happy and healthy :).