Well done Jahmai lots of adjectives and expanded noun phrases.
Please have a look at how to use commas appropriately. Some of your sentences are very long e.g. the one that starts with ‘Then out of nowhere came…’ Always remember to use a comma after a fronted adverbial and see if you can up level your writing with different pieces of punctuation e.g. brackets, hyphens, etc..
Well done Jahmai lots of adjectives and expanded noun phrases.
Please have a look at how to use commas appropriately. Some of your sentences are very long e.g. the one that starts with ‘Then out of nowhere came…’ Always remember to use a comma after a fronted adverbial and see if you can up level your writing with different pieces of punctuation e.g. brackets, hyphens, etc..